


~ ElsAnna Karenina!! Magical Lesbien Adventure ★ Get More Instangram Followers Than Putin!? ~

by vriskastrider



Category: Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy, Frozen (2013), Prestuplenie i nakazanie | Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Genre: Alternate History, Aristocracy, Assassination, Communism, F/F, F/M, Historical Inaccuracy, Incest, Instagram, Intrigue, Poverty, Romance, Russia, Sibling Incest, Social Media, Trains
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-05-14 03:56:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14762142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vriskastrider/pseuds/vriskastrider
Summary: anna karenina and elsa and anna from frozen and also some other dudes form an assassination company 2 kill everybody who has more instangram followers than them and therefore become the president of russia





	1. S1E1 THE EXCITING BEGINNING!! PUTIN HAS A PARTY!? HOW WILL ANNA KARENINA TRAVEL THERE!?

anna karenina was sitting in her room in her HUGE FUCKIGN MANSION and being the most beatuifulest wonan in all of russia like she usually was. she had HUGE BOOBES (radius almost 3m) and a BAUTIFUL FACE and a GIGANT ASS (volume almost 2m^3) and she had 34m instangran followers witch was a lot.

and she was readign some boring book because high class wonen in russia just had 2 do borign things ALL FUCKING DAY like, read a book, go 2 the theatre, scraem when rasputin gets assassynated straight 2 the head with a fuckign rifle but survives because of magics and what not. like all that BORING SAME SHIT. like jesus.

all she wanted 2 do was 2 look at some train inflation fetish art on the net and maybe get a god damn divornce from her asshole incel husband. and like maybe, a LOT OF THINGS??? like just run away and get fuckign smashed at a bar and go have sex w GORGAEOUS WONEN and puke at the bath room floor and get attacked by a hungry cat at 5 in the morning like jesus. have u considerned maybe getting those automated cat feeding things??? that fuckign demon has extramely sharp claws

but anyways anna karenina was doing like NONE of those thigns. she was just sitting there and raeding a stupid book by shakespare or something and looking at her phone witch kept geting digitally assaulted by likes on instangram. being a privileged high class wonan in russia was SO HARD sometimes.

"hey" she heard from the door with the annoyning voice of her annoying asshole incel husband karenin. for some reason he had ALMOST the same last name but like she had an additional A at the end. maybe it meant that she was stronger

"shut thef fuck up" anna karenina said.

"wow" he said and fucking left like the asshole he was. anna karenina searched momentarily 2 find out if she had like a gun or a cool anime sword or something she could use 2 kill him but nope. like the hell was the point of being a privileged high class russian wonan if u didnt order shit from ebay the very fuckign instant u had the dumbass thougt 2 do so??? she wondered and called a servant.

"hey get me the most animest sword ever from the ebay" anna karenina said "i want to kill my hubsand"

"ok" said the servent "but thats illegal m lady"

"like witch one"

"like both of them m lady"

"fucking hell" anna karenina angered. the country had gone 2 shit since they had elected putin. like seraously BOTH getting cool ass anime sword AND kiling ur hubby were illegel??? thast like the definition of dumb as shit laws. like jesus.

but their was nothing any body could do since putin had the most instangran followers (like 52m) and was therefore the prez of russia AUTOMATICALLY. this fuckign country anna karenina thought. couldnt it at least be based on like how large boobes u have or something jesus

"but hey wait" anna karenina said before the servant went away 2 do some dumb things like sleep since it was like 4 in the morning "cant i like uhhhh get a fuckig divorce?? is that also illegel in this asshole country???"

"yeah it is" the servant said. juts like some generic servent. anna karenina didtn even care enough to figure out witch their name was. like jesus WHO CARES, do u think remebering all of those asshole stupid books and plays and famoues people ISNT HARD ENOUGH ALLREADY??? who has time to learn their servants names like jesus

anna karenina sighned. their was absolutely nothing she could do 2 improve the situation what so ever. so she just stopped thinkign about the outside world and retreated 2 her fantasies about gettign ran over by a train. like just some nice train. maybe a wonan train because she was a lesbien or like do trains even have genderds??? a tv show named thomast the tank engine had implied so but like anna karenina wasnt stupid…… she knew u shouldnt trust everything on tv. even childrens shows even tho those are like supposed 2 be the MOST EDUCATIONAL AND HELPFULEST PROGRAMS??? like jesus the makers of thomas the thank engine what where u even thinking???? anna karenina was like almost 90% sure that trainds DIDTNT have genders. go 2 a biology class maybe??????

but like anyways. getting run over by a train. how cool would thaht be? just ur body getting fucking crushed between HUGE STEEL BEAMS (length almost 3000km) and a POWERFUL ENGINE (power almost 4000 horsepowers) and ur body getting fucking mangled beyond recogniziton. being fucking processed by an angry machine of death and moving ppl and cargo. like beign a sausage at a sausage factory but instead of making sauseges it makes them and then CRUSHES THEM TO DEATH. it would be cool as HELL.

maybe i should go do that anna karenina thought. like what else is there 2 life. ur annoying incel husband who keeps tweetign shit like LOL WOMEN AND THEIR CREEPY ASS TRAIN FANTASIES INSTEAD OF NORMAL FANTASIES LIKE GETTING FUCKED BY A HORSES AMIRITE ????? LOL. like who the fuck even does that.

or like the boring ass life of amazign riches and NOT BEING ABLE TO BUY ANIME SWORNDS??? and having 2 do borign shit like going 2 parties and discussing politics and plays and boring ass pretentious books by fucking shakespear or stephanye meyring. being privilenged was SO HARD.

anna karenina decided 2 go 2 see her asshole incel husband 2 whine about how terrible her life was and maybe see if he was willign 2 do anything aboutb it this time. so she stepped out of her room and traveled through the HUGE FUCKING MANSION she lived in (area almost 300m^2). like jesus WHO EVEN NEEDS A MANSION THAT BIG??? it wasnt even the biggest in st betersburg where she lived. maybe some ppl just needed 2 compensate for not haveing huge enough boobes, but anna karenina was fairly sure she had the largest fucking mammaries in all of russia so she really didnt need 2.

she finally found karenin but it was almost the next day. "hey" she said "btw i was serious about that. give me a fucking divornce and a cool anime sword or i will thrown myself under the fuckign train"

karenin sighned. "i cant do that. theres a HUGE IMPORTANT PARTY in putingrad tomorrow and i need a good chriestien wife 2 get a fucking promotion or something i dont even know. please dont questien my life. and anyways isnt that like illegel???? i mean literally know shit about the law even tho im a politicien or something lol but still"

"i will kill u w my bare hands if i have 2" anna karenina scaremed.

"pls lets just wait until tomornow" sighned karenin. "i really need thaht promotion and there fore i need 2 make a good impression on putin. u know how social life works when ur famous and rich and from russia. u just NEED thos fucking instangram followerns and 2 get them u need 2 please the right people. anna its literelly always been like this i have no idea why im even explaining this shit 2 u. oh wait are u just nodding along haveing escaped 2 ur train fucking fantasies instaed of listenign 2 what ur husband has 2 say. wow great. i wish u didnt like trains sexuelly. i wish u didnt always say that trains we see while drivng around are literally hotter than me."

but anna karenina didnt listen because she had retreated 2 her fantasies of getting ran over by a fucking train. just a fyi if thats better than talkeing 2 ur husband go maybe get a divornce maybe!!!! unless u live in russia where its illegel i think. or something

"you know what" karenin said and smiled incelly "will u b happy and do what i tell u 2 if we travel 2 putingrad by train??"

***

"ok how did thaht selfie do" anna axed and flipped a blini over. like with the swooshy thing where u just throw it in2 the fucking air and risking it FALLING OVER TO THE GOD DAMN FLOOR. u fucking show off. just use like a tool or your FUCKING BARE HANDS like a normal person jesus

elsa took her slow as shit garbarge phone and waited for like 4 mins for instangram 2 load. jesus it was hard being poor in leningrad???? they could like BARELY AFFORD a cheap as shit aparntment in leningrads cheapest disctrict and it like fucking sucked. there were cock roaches all over crawling like fucking EVERYWHERE, and also mouses and anacondans. u could barely even fucking sleep when the animal assault force bothered u all night like makeing annoying noice and biting ur ass.

and also they didnt have any furnitrue expect the stove anna was using 2 cook blinis. so elsa was like sitting on th floor and staring at her phone when her lesbien wife girfrriend cooked the blinis.

oh jesus the selfie finally loaded. elsa thought she looked pretty hot…. her boobes looked HUGE (volume at least 2 m^3) and she was naked because they couldnt afford cloths. so how many likes did this bad boy get??? probably like a hundread elsa thought but FUCKING NO. 4 fucking likes. fuck everybody on the net elsa thought. i just fucking sit here all day STARVING 2 DEATH and struggling 2 afford this shitty internet data plan and all you give me is 4 FUCKING LIKES??? JESUS

now she had 45 followers at least but those were like really shitty numbers still. it was barely higher than 44 and 43 and 42 and all those smaller numberbs you know??

"got 4 more likes and 2 more followers" elsa sighned.

"so how many do we have" anna axed and accidentelly fucking launched a blini STRAIGHT INTO A COCK ROACHES MOUTH and the bastard just instantly ate it. jesus anna thought how fucking large do those boys even get. thats almost bigger than my lesbien gs boobs.

"just 45" elsa sighned

"good!!" anna screamed happily "isnt thats almost more than puting???"

"anna no putin has 52 MILLIEN followers u absolute idiot shit head" elsa angered "did u even go 2 school???? oh wait we both didtnt because were like poor and peasants"

then they just sat there in silences. or it realy wasnt a silence because the other poor starving cock roaches were chasing after the one that ate annas blini. elsa watched as they chased it down and fucking tore its head off and scavenged the blinis from within. wow elsa thought. theyre almost like SOME PEOPLE I MIGHT KNOW she vaguethoughted

"i mean" elsa finally said "there MIGHT b another way 2 get more instangram followers than putin"

"wow" axed anna while scrapping more mold from the ceiling 4 her blinis "what do u mean? like makeing all the people unfollow putin or something??"

"no anna thats not how it works" elsa sighned "we both know instangram followers arent like a tangible thing. their just like power levels u know?? but anyway heres the plan. it said on the news that putin has like a HUGE PARTY in putingrad tomorrow. what if we just went there and killed him???"

"hmmm" anna thought "and they wont let him be the prez if hes dead???"

"i mean" elsa sighned "i dont really know but hey we can try"


	2. S1E2 ANNA KARENINA AND KARENIN HAVE A FIGHT!!! WHO WILL SURVIVE!?

anna karenina sighned as she stepped on2 the train. it was a bautiful train with red paint and sexy shining windowds and HUGE BOOBES (radius almost 2m) but the tragendy of the situation was that she could not fuck the train. not even her who had TONS of instangram followers and was extremely famous was allowed to fuck the train???? seraously whaht the hell. can even putin thurst his dick into some choice train ass thought anna karenina like jesus thaht should be legalized as hell

but anyway she just followed her servant in2 the correct place and sat down and tried to not thingk about train sex. she looked at her extremely expensive desing handbag (price almost 5000$) and looked if she had anythign with her that didnt have 2 do with fucking trains. oh great she had some books but oh shit they were THOMAS THE SHAG ENGINE and THOMAS THE SHAG ENGINE 2: RAILING HENRY. shit. she also had her phone but it probably had some train porn open

"i SURE hope your not thinking aboubt fucking trains again" karenin said loudly. anna karenina angered and scramed "WELL SO WHAT IF I AM I S IT REALLY SO WRONG TO WANT SOME HOT TRAIN ACTION ONCE IN A WHILE????"

and then everybody kind of started stareing at them. jesus anna karenina thought dont u have anything better 2 do than listen 2 famous peoples family drama. maybe u should go on twitter and do thaht digitally instead of in irl. or MAYBE u should just go FUCK YOURSELF MAYBE??? like witchever was fine

"listen my wife" karenin angered "your have 2 control your self a little better. this is a fucking public place, and NOT like a public fucking place get it cause u want 2 fuck trains hehe. but i mean anyways. this train will soon stop at leningrad and then we will go outsinde and have a little chat k"

"like what ever" anna karenina angered back and quieted down. she was still pretty hornry because the train was shaking sexily but she was also EXTREMELY ANGRY (anger almost 8500 anger units). she kind of wanted to fuck a train, and also maybe, KILL HER HUSBANB????

but it really wasnt possible to do anything about any of the problembs in her life. she needed instangram followers to get all the perks of being an aristocrat (like free train porn books) and killing a dude was like GUARANRTEED 2 make u lose some. maybe. tbh she really didnt know because it was not like instangram followers were a tanginble thing based on anything real anyways. its all fake. the whole fucking SYSTEM is all fake anna karenina thought and momentarily angered even more until she remembered that the made up fake system also got her free train porn books so maybe it was kind of ok.

she still wanted a divornce tho. or like 2 kill karenin. whats the word anna karenina thought…… hubbycide? when u kill ur husband. but like anyways.

"THE TRAIN WILL BE STOPPING SOON IN LENINGRAD" the announcer scremaed real hard so that everybody in the train heard it "AND THEN IT WILL CONTINUE TOWARDS PUTINGRAD. ITS NOT LIKE WE CAN DO ANYTHING ELSE CAUSE ITS NOT LIKE TRAINS CAN GO BACK WARDS. I MEAN CAN THEY??? I REALLY DONT KNOW. BUT TECHNICALLY I WORK IN THE TRAIN BIZ SO I SHOULD FUCKING KNOW AND THERE FORE MY NAIVE ASSUMPTION IS AUTOMATICALLY RIGHT. AND LIKE WHY WOULD TRAINS EVEN B ABLE 2 DO THAT??? LIKE THINK OF WHEN A CAR DECIDES OH SHIT WRONG DIRECTION LETS GO BACK. IT LIKE TURNS AROUND RITE. BUT UHHH HOW CAN TRAINS DO THAT?? THOSE FUCKING TRACKS ONLY GO IN ONE DIRECTION. LIKE YOU CANT JUST FUCKING TURN AROUND. THE TRAIN CANT LIKE JUST WHOOSH JUMP OFF THE GODD DAMN RAILS AND THEN ORIENT ITSELFS DIFFERENTLY. IT JUST DOESNT LIKE HAPPEN. BUT ANYWAYS WERE AT THE STATION SO GO OUTSIDE AND DO SOMETHING I GUESS. I MEAN I GUESS THERES SOMETHING TO DO THERE CAUSE OTHER WISE IT WOULD BE A PRETTY SHITTY TRAIN STATION. LIKE JESUS CANT YOU EVEN HAVE A COFFEE SHOP OR SOMETHING."

"ok nows our little chance 2 chat in a more private manner" said karenin incelly

"jesus theres probably more ppl outside" angered anna karenina "you just want to go to the blini shop or something."

"cant a man BOTH go 2 the blini shop and nag at his wife???" wondered karenin "like jesus anna maybe u should try beingn a more reasonable person some time. so what if a man needs his blinis and also needs 2 scream at her wife in once a while. its not like its an immoral activity like divornce or you know WANTING 2 HAVE SEX WITH FUCKING TRAINS!????"

"if train sex is wrong well I DONT WANNA BE RIGHT" anna karenina scaremed as they stepped out of the train. goodbye my love anna karenina thought. goodbye the mean of public trainsportation i LITERALLY love more than my incel asshole husband. good lord my marriage is a fucknig mess.

***

"ok now and who will we try" axed anna. she and her lesby wife gf elsa were in leningrads trains station, witch was a pretty shitty train station tbh. there was like ONE blini shop and it didnt even have the best blinis elsa thought. anna made always the best blinis witch maybe was because she used her boob milk witch was kind of fucked up but tasted good.

"just some random rich ppl who look lyke they could use a prostute" elsa shrugged. "i mean we literally do this every day how the hell do u even forgert. your lucky youre boobs are so big or else i would dump u this fucking second and find my self a gf who doesnt axe such dumb ass questiens."

"shut up" anna said "we literally didnt go 2 school cause we were so poor. just MAYBE sometimes considerd that not every body has been in like 6 years of prostetution lessons???? like seraously jesus"

"I DIDNT GO 2 SCHOOL EITHER U LITERALLY SAID WE IN THAHT SENTANCE U USELESS LEsbien" elsa angered but stopped when she saw some rich looking ppl.

it was really easy to notice who was rich and who wasnt. first of all the rich ppl ALWAYNS had cloths on. elsa and anna were literally so poor they didnt even have cloths witch was KIND of good for prostution??? but anyways rich ppl ALWAYS had cloths, maybe even when haveing sex.

and second they were ALWAYS fightig about some stupid bull shit. like what did shakespear mean with his newest play??? or did u hear about some stupid event like war???? or oh boy does our marriage just fucking SUCK but divornce is illegel for some reason?????? rich ppl had dumb problems ie problems NOT DIRECTLY RELATED TO FUCKING STAYIGN ALIVE. elsa couldnt really make out what the man and wonan she saw were arguing about because they were LOUD AS HELL (volome almost 6000db) but it was surely something dumb. like who did u vote for putin or stalin. what the hell you idiot whos the prez is decided by instangran followers, voting isnt even real you dumb. wow SORRY for assuming we live in a demoncratic country???? something dumb like that

"excuse me" elsa axed from the man "cant hold it in anymore? this is elsa from elsanna prostution company. would u like 2 fucken bang??"

"how dare u" karenin angered "I BUY MY PROSTUTES FROM EBAY LIKE A RESPONSBIBLE RUSSIAN ARISTORCRAT!!! FUCK YOU!!!!"

but anna karenina was kinda into it. the wonan had LARGERG BOOBS THAN EVER SIGHTED BY MAN KIND. like they were almost the size of a city if a city was more reasonable sized or the size of a fucking quark but like tons bigger. they were like largerg cardinals but not like one of those REALLY large ones. like medium cardinals. and they were like two fast sexy trains approachign her at ludicruous speeds and ready 2 fucking mangle her body in2 an unrecognizable mess of pure sex energy.

"but were like totally cheap" the other wonan said. she had ALSO fairly large boobs. must be sisters anna karenina thought and that was hot for like some reason. did anna kareina like incests???? well maybe. trains didnt USUALLY have siblibgs so she didnt really know. but it looked kind of hot tbh.

"HOW DARE U SUGGEST THAT IM FUCKING UN FAITHFUL 2 MY DEAR WIFE ANNA KRENINA" karenin angered even more.

"jessus shut up" anna karenina said and bitch slapped her annoying incel husband. "like why cant we get these prostutes? they look better than the ones from ebay tbh"

"wow woW WOW" karenin scraemed "wel THATS the ULTIMATE FUCKING INSULT RIGHT THERE. u humilite ur husband by privately calling him an incel asshole EVERY DAY but that ISNT EVEN ENOUGH???? u ALSO HAVE 2 INSTULT HIS ABILITY 2 CHOOSE SEXY LARGE BOOBED WONEN TO PURCHASE AND THEN INTER COURSE WITH???"

anna karenina kind of zoned out and stopped listening at her husbanbs ridiculous rant. and retreated to the realm of train sex fantasies like usual. but tihts time something was different. she kept thinking about how the other wonans boobes kind of looked like trains because they were so large….. mmm trains

"ok this wont work out" the blonde haired wonan sighed "lets leave anna"

ANNA??? anna karenina alarmingly thought. the name seemed kind of significant almost as if it was also the name of some other person present at the moment.

"why…..." anna karenina axed "........ did u say that name???"

meanwhile his incel asshole husband was still ranting about something. might b about how stalin smells always bad at putins parties or something. anna karenina def wasnt listening 2 that bullshit one fucking minute more.

"uhhh cause annas my lesbien incest wife sister love???" the train boob looking wonan said. "thats literelly the reason. theres literelly nothing deep about this what so ever."

but it made anna karenina really THINK about her life. here she was being ranted at by her annoying incel husnand. mean while, some OTHER wonan named anna was probably enjoying her exciteing life as a prostute who also had a hot lesbien incest wife gf. wow anna karenina thought my life totally sucks by compraison but the hell can i do???

but then she looked at the blonde wonans boobs againg and saw that they still looked like trains.that was still a true thing. true as hell. her boobes didnt suddenly change shape or anything. and that gave her a idea.

oh trains. usually they were delicate instruments of LOVE and TRAVEL BETWEEN DIFFERENT POINTS THAT HAPPEN TO LIE ALONG SOME TRAIN TRACKS. but perhaps those free souls of bountifyl sexual energy could be harnessed into harbringers of DEATH. of HUBBYCIDE.

"hey watch out ur about 2 fall in2 some train tracks" anna karenina suddenly said. "the hell" karenin said "im literally just standing here"

but then anna karenina charged into him and fucking pushed him in front of a train who was just departing towards trumpgrad (speed almost 500km/h). karenin first let out a surprised noise and then an oh fuck im being currently mangled by a fast as fuck train noise. his torso was crushed like a piece of candy paper bout to get thrown in2 the trash witch was where he fucking belonged. his spine was cut in2 three pieces like the worlds most shittily cut cucumber. his face was grinded into fine dust of incel assholery. his dick flew out from the trains force and disaspeared in2 the sky.

anna karenina came so hard she almost died. when she was done cameing and turned back wards she saw that the pristute wonen had also came so hard they almost died.

"thaht was SO HOT!!!" the blonde wonan screamed "im elsa btw"

"and im anna" the other woman said

"nice 2 meat you im anna karenina" anna karenina said "btw wanna b prostutes 2gether???"

"i have a better idea" elsa said smirkingly "your obviously a hot lady but u also know how to MURDER….. come and join us while we kill putin and make our selves the prezes of russia"


	3. S1E3 ELSANNA KARENINA ASSASSINATIONS COMPANY FOUNDED!? WHAT WILL HAPPEN? PUTIN'S PARTY!!!

anna karenina had been arguing w her husband 4 so long thaht the train had left so they just bought new tickets. witch was also necessery cause elsa and anna were with her now. and they didnt have tickets bcause they were so poor. witch was why they were prostuteing them selves like theres no tomorrow. these events really make sense anna karena thought. shame about that train tho. like the original trains was just like the SEXIEST TRAIN EVER???

"dear ms anna karenina wheres your husband" some useless servant axed. anna karenina shrugged and was like what ever. who even knows about that dude. maybe he was so into those blinis at the shitty blini shop thaht he just decided to stay there instead of going 2 putins boring party????? like who ever wants to go to putins party. their just so BORING!

im literally watching a instagram video of u pushing karenin 2 his fucking death the servant said. oh anna karenina said. fucking social media am i right. in the good ol' times it probably took like 2 days b4 any body found out u just committed hubbycide. but now we cant have that any more, and whats the shit we get in return? oh its just that we can now look at useless updates about what rich ppl are doing all the time. THANKS A LOT SOCIAL MEDIA

but anyways elsa and anna were sitting next to them.

"do u like have some spare cloths" anna axed "i like heard thaht rich fucking russian aristocrats have even 5 or 6 cloths"

"yea i do" anna karenina said "but i dont like have them now???? their at the karenin mansion witch is in st petersborg. and thats like literally the opposite direction than the one were going 2. i think thats how trains work."

"dont u like have ANYTHING???" elsa angered "putins a fucking snob. he probably wont even let us in if we dont have cloths on. AND every body would notice my huge fucking boobs and draw some unwanted attention 2 us????? like it doesnt sound like this assassasination thing is working out unless we get some fucking clothes on like jesus"

"relax i uhhhh do have some thing" anna karenina embarassed "just reach in2 that suitcase over there. theres should be a thing 2 wear there"

elsa reached in2 the suitcase and felt something barely familiar. it was like a cloth, witch is a thing u can fucking put on. she had never had cloths because she and anna were literally so poor. but now she had a WHOLE CLOTH. things were going REALLY WELL. thats literally 1 more cloth than she had before. wow it was good to b elsa right n-

what the fucke lsa thought. it was a train sex costuime.

"this is a train sex costume" elsa angered

"well actually i call them trainsuits" anna karenina said "and my asshole incel hubby sometimes wore them when we had sex. but i had to wear a horse costume."

"i literally dont care bt w/e as long as puting lets us in" elsa sighned.

***

later the train arrived 2 putingrad. putingrad was a big city and its main exports were oil, beating gays 2 death and invading crimea. there was literally a university thaht specialized in teaching ppl how 2 invade crimea. there were a lot of courses realting 2 invading crimea. like how 2 invade crimea. and others.

they called a horse uber and went to putins mansion. it was a HUGE MANSION (area almost 600m2), like probably the biggest in ALL OF RUSSIA. there was a huge ball room, witch was like a place where ppl danced and shit. and also a ball room, witch was a room where putin kept his balls. he really LOVED SPORTS, especially hockey. also there was a mini gulag 4 ppl who didnt obey the etiquette or did other shady things

"halt ye who wanna fucking go inside" putins gaurds screamed when elsa and anna and anna karenina approached. "good evening mrs karenina. but where might your honourable incel husbando be?"

"uhhhh" anna karenina thought. they had forgotten 2 make up a cover story or something like that. did they like even have a murder weapon??? probably no???? maybe she should like have taken assasination classes in uni. but it was 2 late 4 thats so what ever the fuck. "uhhh my husband got in2 an accident and turned in2 two lesbiens. thats a thing that can happen"

"dear ms karenina, noble and honorable wonan of veritable truthfulness" a guard said "that kind of sounds like bs 2 me"

"yeah it was like a joke" said anna karenina "anyways see u later"

and then they left. but not really. they just went 2 another part of the mansion grounds but there werent any other doors. SHIT anna karenina thought. who ever even had a mansion this big and DIDNT have more doors??? even fairly poor folks have atleast 2 doors or maybe even 3 like jesus

"how r we gonna get in" anna axed. wow thanks 4 ur input anna karenina and elsa thougt sarcestically. like real useful.

"WHOAH whaht the fuck who are u" scraemed a man who accidentelly stumbled in2 elsas HUGE BOOBES (volume almost 80m3). the man was kinda nervous looking but maybe it was just that he was nervous at the moment. also he was carreying a mystery object behind his back. it was a mystery bcause elsa and anna and anna karenina didnt know what it was, witch is what mystery means.

"we are anna and elsa and also anna karenina witch was me btw" anna karenina said "and were here 2 kill putin. now who are u"

"wow what a nice coincdidence" the man said "im raskolnikov and im ALSO here 2 kill putin."

"thats nice" anna said. "btw how the fuck r u planning 2 get inside??? we tried but the guards were 2 smart and didnt believe that karenin had just become 2 lesbiens"

"wait are u THE anna karenina who shoved her husband in2 his death just today" raskolnikov axed. "wow thats so cool i had always wanted 2 do that. but like not because im gay 4 my best friend and want him 2 be my husband or anything. its just that i fucking LOVE murder"

"u kill ur husband ONE FUCKING TIME and then your automatically the dude who killed her husband FOR LITERALLY AT LEAST ONE DAY???" scrameed anna karenina "but w/e i guess u can help us"

"well clearly he cant" angered elsa "because he just looks like a useless fuck"

"wow" said raskolnikov "a wonan in a train sex costume insulted me. how am i ever gonna recover. listen dudes….. i was just in the gulag for 10 fucking years for committeing a HORRIBLE CRIME…… im a bit tougher than dudes who get offended when a crazy train sex wonan insults them."

"this argueing is just useless" angered anna karenina. she knew because she had argued w her husband for like 20 years and the time she killed him was literally the only time it had lead 2 something useful. like jesus. "what if i just go in cause im on the guest lists and then when i give a cue u BURST thru the window and fucking kill putin"

"sounds like a good plan w no draw backs what so ever" anna said

"BUT WAIT!" raskolnikov shouted. everybody was already getting tired of this nerd. "have we filled out th paper work for forming an assassinetion company???"

"is it really necessary 2 do that" elsa signhned

"i mean" raskolnikov said "sounds pretty illegal 2 me 2 kill somebody without doing the proper paperwork first"

"u can do that while im gone" anna karenina said and ran away. fucknig BURAUCRACRY. almost the worst thing about being a high class russian rich aristorcart wonan after all the other bad things.

anyways the guards now let her in after she made up a story about her husband being 2 sick 2 go 2 putins boring party. it was tubercolosis or aids or some shit like that. the guards were like ok that sounds a lot legiter than last time, maybe u can go in. and in anna karenina went.

the party was in the big ball room and there were LOADS of evil ppl w tons of instangran followers present. like stalin. and rian johnson. and hitler, probaly. oh and also putin him self.

"hey bautiful" stalin said and grabbed anna karenina by her arm. stalin was a REALLY important dude who had like 49m instangran followers. and also he ruled over stalingrad, witch was a pretty obvious thing because it was literally named after him. "havent seen u around. when r u going 2 come to the communist party??? its in stalingrad literelly every friday, expect when i have tubernuclosis"

"oh i hate parties" anna karenina laughned aristocratically "im just here cause my husband wanted 2 improve his reputation 2 get a promotion or something like that."

"really" stalin said "wheres ur husband?"

"oh hes not here" anna karenina said and gracefully and etiquetically ran the fuck away. god she hated small talk. and also big talk and also talks of all fucking sizes.

finally she found putin. putin was a buff as fuck dude who didnt have a shirst on, and also he was riding a bear. he had cool as fuck sunglasses and he was starint at the famous ppl near him like whats up dudes im vladimir putin and im ready to fucking party.

"hey putin nice 2 see u" anna karenina scraemed. putin just nodded cause he was cool like that.

anna karenina looked around and there were TONS of ppl nearby, and also it seemed like a shitty time 2 assassinate somebody cause isnt it like supposed 2 b NOT NOTICED BY EVERYBODY??? but it was also hard 2 think of a way 2 NOT have putin b the center of attention in his own fucking party. so anna karenina was like w/e and screamed at the top of her lungs "btw would b a shame if SOMEBODY SHATTERED THE WINDOW RIGHT NOW AND KILLED PUTIN WOUDLNT IT LIKE JESUS CANT U LIKE WAIT UNTIL THE PARTY IS OVER I DIDNT MEAN THIS LITERELLY OF COURSE"

and then the window shattered and elsa and anna and also raskolnikov JUMPED OUT and ran towards putin.

"whaht is the meaning of this" putin confusedly axed rasputin who was like his personal assistent or something.

"my lord it looks like their going 2 assassasinate u" rasputin said

"ok well isnt it like supposed 2 b a secret or at least not have tons of ppl nearby and also all of them recording an instangran live video and also jesus are those wonen wearing train sex costumes" putin wondered

"actually i call them TRAINSUITS" anna karenina angered. there was nothing worse than ppl making mistakes when talking about ur strange sex fantasies. like yes i DO actually want 2 get run over by a fucking train. and actually YES it DOES matter whaht color the train is. NO i dont dislike black trains. YES it would b racist even if u say its just a preference.

"tell me intruders" putin scramed "is it true that u want 2 kill me????"

elsa and anna and also raskonlikov (that annoying nerd) stopped running. yeah it was true that this was their first asassination but still it really did kind of look like a shitty failed assasination like jesus. do any of u even have weapons or something??? expect 4 raskolnkikov who still has that mystery object witch COULD b a weapon in theory, but really theres no way 2 know

"uhhhh" elsa said "actaully…… well maybe this was just a viral advertisment 4 our NEW assasinatien company called elsanna karenina assassinations company"

"wait a fucking second" angered raskolnikov "why isnt my name there??? ill have 2 let u know i literally contributed as much to this plan as anna (that useless lesbien). i fucknig demand my name there 2"

"actually" said anna karenina "maybe its just a combination of elsa and me. so both of u useless fucks arent represented and good fucking riddance"

"BUT ANYWAYS dear mr putin would u like 2 use our services" elsa said

"hmm" putin considered "have u like killed any body?? i firmly beleive that not every body can b a killer. like only REAL STRONG PEOPLE, like napolaon or rian johnson."

"sounds fake but ok" elsa said worryingly. but then she remembered not 2 be a stupid fuck and saw that some ppl around were carrying the newest copy of the news paper pravda. and on the cover was a pic of anna karenina pushing her husband 2 his death. "hey look at thaht we HAVE killed somebody!!!"

"hmmmm" putin still considered. "what do u thingk rasputin"

"my lord" said rasputin mysteriously "i think you will find their services most useful"

"ok your hired i will email u a list of ppl 2 kill or something" putin said "back 2 partying everybody"

"YES!!!!!!" elsa and anna and also anna karenina and raskolnikov screamed even thought they had achieved a TOTALLY DIFFERENT OBJECTIVE than the one they were trying 2 do. but like what ever. at least they had assassinatien company paperwork done, and like almost had a list of ppl 2 kill, witch was almost everything u needed 2 be asassins.

putins political enemies who also were there like stalin and rian johnson were glaring at them angrily cause they probably guessed they would b on the list….. but at least for now things were good 4 elsanna karenina assassinations company and they ran 2 a different room 2 celebrate with some of that good old incest train sex


End file.
